The sole purpose of lives of certain people is to prove it to a certain ‘XYZ’. It is ok to be inspired because of a certain incident with XYZ which helped you realise your true calling but to live your life to prove it to this XYZ who doesn’t give a FUCK about you anymore is plain stupid.
Over bottles of beer when the conversation gradually streamed towards life aspirations and future plans, I drew a blank but some of them around me were full of confidence and surety and had the perfect answer to the typical HR question – ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’. He wanted to be one of the most successful entrepreneur who is talked about by the most popular financial newspapers. Perfectly Fine. But hold on. He wanted to carry that newspaper to the house of his ex girlfriend and throw it on the face of the woman whom he once thought would be his mother in law.
We all look for inspirations around us and many of us aspire to be like someone in one way or the other. The Indians of the last two decades wanted to be the Sachin Tendulkar of cricket while many follow Virat Kohli today. The bollywood had the Khans ruling, we have the Elon Musk and the Mark Zuckerbergs in running successful businesses and then we have Warren Buffet and Rakesh Jhunjhunwala as investment kings. Maybe not be a replica but we try and follow what lot of these successful people have done in their respective domains.
On the other hand some of us are inspired by a failure to stand up and do well again. Way back during school days I had a friend who scored 1/5 in dictation test of a regional language. Technically he failed in the test – for the first time ever. He was heart broken because he was a ranker. But then he did not let that be the bearish phase of his life. That was the lowest he had ever been. He picked himself up from there and in the annual average he scored a 4.5 on 5.
Even circumstances at times hit us on the face and we are pushed to the wall only to come out stronger than before. Have read several stories on quora about a women coming out of an abusive marriage to take care of herself and her child, a child standing up to the sudden death of his/ her father to shoulder responsibilities of the household.
But revenge for a living can be disastrous. And I am not even getting to the political divide we see in our daily lives these days. All I am saying that living it out to prove it to a third person. Yes, third person because that someone is not part of your daily routine and yet they play a major havoc in your life. If you have seen 3 idiots, you’ll remember that bet wherein if Aamir went and proposed Kareena, Sharman would give an interview without those ‘lucky’ rings and Madhavan would opt for the Photography internship. And then the conversation that Madhavan’s dad made all the sacrifices for his engineering entrance and not the neighborhood uncle. They moved out of the cycle of being controlled by a third person.
How different is it from being possessed by someone else? All your actions are motivated by that. On a rather more common note in today’s life, it is about proving to the society that I am capable of doing this. Several people give multiple attempts of JEE to qualify into an IIT or maybe multiple attempts of the CA examination and spend years behind obtaining that paper degree. Yes, those degrees hold a lot of value but is all the mental stress and depression and years of exile worth it? Do it because you want to do it and not because SharmaJi kya kahenge.
Nobody is expecting you to do something drastically different than the general. We don’t expect every individual to stand out in the crowd. It is perfectly fine to be a commoner – aam aadmi (without any direct or indirect reference to the Delhi based political outfit) but do it because that is how you see yourself and fight it out if that’s not what you want to be. That Anu Aunty is not going to feed you when you’re unwell. She will not hold your hand and pick you up when you are fallen. That girl whom you broke up with half a decade back is probably going to mother a child with another man. Don’t ruin your life for someone else. That moment gave you that motivation to do soemthing in life and make something out of yourself. Everybody is not Salman Khan from Sultan to get Arifa after pursuing your dreams because she dared you to do so. Life is not a Bollywood film.We all should just try to be a human being.
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